This evening, I was casually browsing some art on deviantart.com, where I’ve been posting my pictures the past half year. When one photograph mentioned the death of a member of deviantART, I became curious. Surfing for more info on his death, I eventually came upon the journal by his life’s partner Wendy who also is a photographer on deviantART. And when I read her story about him and how she felt about his death, I started to cry. I don’t know him or her, but her story touched me and made me reflect on my own life.

“[…] The only things left that I can do for him are to honor him, make him proud, and make sure he is not forgotten. […] What did I ever do to let him know how much he means to me? Not enough. […]”

Her story reminded me I haven’t said ‘I love you’ enough to the people that I really care about and who really care about me. It reminded me how at times I feel I haven’t made my family proud and that I have only let them down. It reminded me that by just ‘living’ I’ll only end up as a grey pawn in the midst of billions of people on the planet, that I should fight for my life with motivation and not let myself get lazy. It reminded me once more of what Susanne once said to me:

“It’s not the dream that motivates you. It’s realizing that the dream can very much become reality if you will for it strongly enough.”

I want to make that dream reality, even though sometimes I feel I’m not as strong enough as I should be. But life is short, and I need to be strong, so that one day I can make my family and the people I love and care about proud… before it’s too late…

Ik zeg het niet vaak genoeg, maar ik hou van je, mama.
En ook van jou, papa.
En nog het meest van al van mijn zusje, die me elke dag opnieuw trots maakt.